My Angel - Shounen ai

“It’s been forever since I’ve seen him,” I said, setting my glass down on the table.  We were in a small cafe, just down the street from my friend’s workplace.  Her name was Kim.

“So you’ve told me,” she replied from across the table.  “If you miss him so much then why don’t you search for him or something?”

“But I know exactly where he is...” That was a lie, but I wanted her off my back.

“Then go to him,” she stared hard at me with her deep black eyes.

“No, I can’t!” I cried.

She slammed her drink down on the table, pushed out her chair, grabbed her purse, and returned my cry with this: “If you care about that man so much then why don’t you marry him!”

I blushed furiously.  “You know I couldn’t possibly do that...”

“Jason,” she sighed, coming closer to me, “everyday you have lunch with me, and everyday you speak of nothing but Aaron and how much you miss him.  I hardly even have a grasp on what you do for a living; if you even work at all!”

My blushed flared back up again.  “I-I’m sorry, Kim.  I don’t mean to, but... I do miss him!”

She put a hand on my shoulder and said, “I know.  Listen, I’ve got to get back to work.  I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”  She squeezed my shoulder and then started heading back to her office building.

When she was out of my sight, I sighed heavily and breathed normally again.  “I’m sorry...”


I got home later than normal.  Opening my apartment door, I entered and slowly closed the door behind me.  I entered the extra bedroom that I had turned into my study, took out a mechanical  pencil and a piece of white paper, and started to draw.  This was something kind of normal on account that I’m a comic book artist.

Closing my eyes, I placed the pencil to the paper and began to draw.  I’ve never done this much; only if there’s a problem I couldn’t figure out.  In doing this, closing my eyes opens the way of my heart to place on the paper what my mind could not comprehend.

I felt the strokes of the pencil creating something... something my mind didn’t like, as the pencil movements were jerky.  But I kept my eyes closed, fighting the heavy blows of my mind.

My problem was this: Aaron.

I always thought about him, never stopping.  And though I never remember my dreams, I know that they are about him... and myself, and that scared me somehow.

As I finished, I felt my emotion-ridden hand steady as my signature was placed in the sketch.  My eyes slowly fluttered open, as if waking from a beautiful dream, and turned my gaze to the paper where my new “masterpiece” lay on the desk.

“My God...” I gasped, “what does this mean...?!”

The drawing was beautiful, probably one of my better extras, but frightening.  It involved two of the characters from my Endaria comic series, Mandar, a warrior from a small village and hero of the story, and Gabriel, the fallen angel that has fallen in love with Mandar.  They were nude, draped in a long cloth, embracing and looking longingly into each other’s eyes.  Gabriel’s wings are outstretched around Mandar’s body, shielding him from all harm, keeping him safe in this one fleeting moment.

My heart skipped many beats before getting on pace again.  I breathed heavily; my mind was racing!  I slumped over in my chair, wishing for these odd thoughts and feelings to leave.

BANG! BANG!

I sat up quickly.  Someone at my door? I thought, rushing out of my room.  Upon arriving at the door, I opened it slowly, poking my head out.

“Jeez!” I gasped and opened the door wide, for there, just outside the door with a briefcase in one hand, a laptop in the other, and a suitcase on the floor, was him!

He wore a business suit that seemed neatly pressed and very expensive, sporting the decent haircut of a young businessman and killer shades.  All in all, he looked as if he had been doing well for himself in whatever profession he was in.  It immediately belittled my old t-shirt and tattered jeans that was almost my entire wardrobe.

“Jason, is that you?” He asked coolly.

I blushed slightly, “Yes, Aaron, it’s me.”

He spontaneously dropped his briefcase and laptop and gave me an affectionate hug.  “It’s good to see you, Jason... It’s good to see you...”


Aaron had then entered the room and he and I were sitting at my cluttered kitchen table.

“You haven’t changed much, Jason,” he said.

“No, but you have.  What have you been doing?”

“After dropping out of collage, I kind of wandered around town aimlessly, searching for something.  After a while, I laid a job at a local gaming store.  I earned enough money from that to buy a program I had been wanting for a while and--”

“Is there a point to this story somewhere?” I interrupted, yawning.

“In short, I started NeoFront Corporation.”

I about fell out of my chair at that.  “NeoFront?!  You’re the dude that started that multi-national, multi-billion dollar company!  But I thought--”

“That he was some old miser?  No the ‘Aaron Jordan’ of NeoFront is the same Aaron Jordan you see before you.”

I choked back to reality as he asked, “And what have you been doing?”

“Me?” I asked shyly.  “Well, I’m an artist for Dragon Comics now and started a brand new fantasy series called ‘Endaria‘--”

“You mean the one about two gay men, right?” he interrupted.

“Yes, that one,” I replied, a little embarrassed.

“It’s very successful among young girls.  I’ve read a couple of issues.  Very well done.”

“Um, thank you.”

We sat in silence a moment, not knowing what to say, I suppose.  I was the one who broke the silence.  “I’ve got something to show you, Aaron.”  I got up from the table and went to my study.  I returned with a slip of paper in my hand.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing to the page in my hand.

I slowly lifted the page and handed it to him.  He took it, stared hard at it, then placed it on the table quietly.  He looked at me with frightened eyes.  “You’ve used it again...”

I nodded.  His gaze was cast down.  “Like when you predicted my sister’s death...”

Again, I nodded slowly.

“Shit, you idiot!” he rose quickly and grabbed the collar of my shirt.  I squeaked in surprise.

“But I know that’s why you’ve come here,” I pleaded.  “There’s an odd feeling in your heart... That’s why you’re here!”

He let go of me hesitantly.  “I’m sorry... Yes, that’s why I’m here, but that,“ he pointed to the sketch, “is just disturbing!”

“I know.  It even caught me off guard.  But that’s what my heart believes is wrong.  My heart, against the will of my mind, believes that we are... uh, I am, in love with you...”

Aaron stared blankly, taking in what I had said, then put his hand on my shoulder.  “You look exhausted.  Why don’t you get some rest?”

That surprised me a bit, but I nodded and silently exited to my room and slept.  And for the first time, I remembered the dream.


I was running through the woods from... something, but what, I didn’t know.  Then, a song.  A beautiful song by a tenor voice.  I found myself being pulled toward that fantastic voice; it’s haunting beauty entrancing me.  Soft as it was, it beckoned me closer.  As I neared, I could hear some of the words, though foreign, the melody and sweet refrains were enchanting and complicated like a mystic dream.

I then came upon a stream, and there, on the same bank as I, was a beautiful creature covered in the shadows of the trees of the forest and sitting on a fallen tree trunk.  The creature was beautiful for this reason, though: its beautiful and enormous white feathery wings.  I moved silently toward the angelic being, carefully placing my feet softly on the leaf-littered ground.

“Please stop.  I can hear your mind...” a voice in
my head said.  I realized slowly that it was the angel-creature’s voice.

“I’m sorry to have disturbed you,” I said softly.

“Do not concern yourself with that.  I am banished, so nothing has meaning to me... not anymore...”

“You’re banished?” I questioned.  “What are you banished from, fair being?”

It lifted its head, its face still in shadows, toward the sky and I could feel its sorrow.  “I was banished from there, and sent here, to suffer and die a lonely, pathetic death...”

“I am sorry, good Angel--”

“Gabriel... My name is Gabriel...”

“Then, you are male then?”

“I am what you want me to be...”

I considered, then walked closer to it.  It threw out a hand in a gesture to stop, but I continued.  As I approached, the shadows on his form lifted, but it turned its head from me.  Coming close enough, I stood inches away from it, but Gabriel’s face was still turned, but slowly, its face turned to me, and I awakened...


My eyes fluttered open, taking in the dark, lifeless room.  I breathed softly, taking in my dream.  It was the first chapter of Endaria, but why would I dream that?

My mind wandered from that to the odd warmth next to me.  I turned slightly to see what it was.  A body!  A body was next to me, breathing gently and curled up under the soft blankets of my bed.  Pulling back the comforter, I wanted to see who or what it was, though I already had an idea.

I stared calmly at the figure, not at all surprised to see him.  It was Aaron lying next to me.  I could now see that he had chosen his path... it was the path I wanted as well...

Aaron stirred awake by my side, his blue eyes staring deeply into mine.

“Hi Aaron,” I smiled at him.

“Hi...” he breathed sleepily.  He yawned happily and beamed, smiling.  I smiled back, forgetting everything my mind had taught me.  Leaning toward him, I kissed him affectionately on his lips.  Then, lifting my lips from his, he whispered, “I love you..” and we continued.  It was the happiest moment of my life...

The End